QUESTION: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

by **vixen-ivy_force** Fri Feb 13, 2009 8:56 pm

1.KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.
2.ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
3.KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
4.SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion. We were justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
5.HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
6.DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
7.MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
8.FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
9.RICHARD NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
10. MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
11. SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
12. CHARLES DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected and evolved over time in such a way that they are now genetically endowed with the capabilities required to cross roads.
13. ALBERT EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference. (Duh?!?)
14. ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
15. ERAP: Ang media ang may kasalanan diyan!
16. MIRIAM DEFENSOR-SANTIAGO : " Aha! I know it! That chicken crossed the road to provoke me. I move to permanently hold in contempt that chicken. I request for a restraining order, your honor, so that the chicken would not be able to cross the road again!"
17. RAMON REVILLA: "I concur, your honor. You see, may timbangan ako ng manok sa bahay. Doon ko nga nalaman na 96 grams ang 1000 na bills ng 1000 pesos to make 1 million pesos. See 96 grams? 96 grams talaga! Malapit yun sa isang kilo...eh sa 96 grams talaga eh...Pero huwag nyo akong tanungin kung ilang kilo ang manok na nagcross ng road. Eh, di ko nakilo eh. I guess, takot syang pakilo. Baka kulang sya ng 96 grams. In short, kulang sya ng isang kilo."
18. EMMA LIM: Para po uminom ng iced tea, your honor!
19. CHAVIT SINGSON: Eh, nililito nyo lang po ako, your honor. Di ko alam kung bakit nagcross yun ng road. Wala naman sa ledger ko kung bakit. Nililito nyo lang po ako. Nililito nyo lang po talaga ako.
20. CLARISSA OCAMPO: It crossed the road to go to the office of, I am sorry, Mr. Estelito Mendoza.
21. ESTELITO MENDOZA: Whether I will quit as a defense lawyer of the president or not, shall depend upon the decision of the president himself, not the crossing of the road by the chicken.
22. RAUL ROCO: It is a noble profession to be a chicken and to cross that road!
23. CHIEF JUSTICE HILARIO DAVIDE: Unless there is an objection, the chicken can cross that road.