QUICKIEs

advice to worms:sleep late!

did you hear about the cannibal who liked to stop where they serve truck drivers?

doorman:your car is at the door,sir
car owner:yes,i hear it knocking.

flip:do you live in a small house?
flop:small!ours is the only house in town with roundshouldered mice.

patient:doctor,will you treat me?
doctor:absolutly not!you'll have to pay the same as everyone else.

silly:what did the police do when two hundred hares escaped from the rabbit farm?
sillier:they combed the area.

there's a new book out called HOW TO BE HAPPY WITHOUT MONEY.It costs ten dollars.

FATHER TO SON: i don't care if the basement wall is cracking.Please stop telling everyone you come from a broken home...

Did you hear about the snake charmer who married an undertaker?They now have towels marked "HISS" and "HEARSE."

FLIP:if you were in a jungle by yourself and an elephant charged you,what you do?
FLOP:pay him...

"HELLO,operator,i'd like to speak to the king of the jungle."
"i'm very sorry,but the lion is busy."