CAN YOU EVER BE FRIENDS WITH YOUR EX?

Although it would make things much easier in the dating world,
relationships rarely see mutual breakups. One person is usually the
heartbreaker, while the other mulls over the breakup and pain for
weeks, even months. It's never easy to break up with someone you've shared
good times with (and even if they were bad times, they were still times).
And here are some of the reasons why, former lovers can not end up as
friends:


YOU'VE SEEN EACH OTHER NAKED
Although it may be possible to have casual sex with a friend, even this
can damage a relationship. As hard as it is to accept, it's difficult
to bring a relationship back to its normal state after having been most
intimate with someone. You will always have an image of that person
naked, and memories of the trysts will always be triggered by the smell of
her
skin or perfume, or even by hearing a song that you once made passionate
love to. And as thick-skinned as you are, it's hard to see the person in the

same light after being entangled in each other's skin and sharing a
moment of sheer ecstasy with one another. Why else can't exes become
friends?


CAN'T CONFIDE IN EACH OTHER
As hard as two exes try to stay friends, they can never really confide
in one another. How do you tell your ex that you have a hot date tonight,
or that you and your new lover are going away on a steamy getaway? You
can't even tell your ex that the reason you're smiling so much is because a
woman has just pleasured you like never before. You can tell her these
things, but new lovers and mates are always going to be a sensitive issue.
It's even harder to tell her how hurt you were that your date stood you
up the other night, thanks to your sense of pride. Remaining friends seems
to provide us with the security blanket that the person who has been in
our life will still be there, and we can call on them every once in a while
to ind out how they are -- but we'll never actually know how they really
are.


ALWAYS ONE-SIDED BITTERNESS
Since breakups are rarely one-sided, one party will always feel resentment
or bitterness towards the other person. Even if your ex is feigning
friendship, she's not sincerely your friend; so if it seems like plans
with your new potential woman are always being sabotaged, they just
might be.


JEALOUSY COMES INTO PLAY
And where there's bitterness, there's jealousy. And the truth of the
matter is, it's hard to be sincerely happy for your ex when they've just
found the new love of their life.


YOU DON'T WANT THEM WITH ANYONE ELSE
It's human nature to be jealous or resentful when our ex finds a new
person to cuddle up to, even if we don't have feelings for them
anymore. It almost becomes a race of who will find the new lover first, a
challenge especially brought on by the person who was dumped. Even for the
person who did the breaking up, the thought of someone else taking your
place in the memories that you and your ex shared is hard, and sometimes
extremely painful to fathom.


PASSION STILL EXISTS
Even if your relationship was completely problem-ridden, chances are
that the passion and sexual chemistry between the two of you still exists
(unless lack of attraction was the reason for your breakup). This is a
recipe for disaster because it means that every time you get together
under this new "friendship" premise, the lust and passion you have
makes it more likely that you'll end up in "one more" night of unbridled
"goodbye" sex, for old times sake. This brings you right back to square
one -- how you felt right after your breakup, and just when you were
doing so well.


MOVING ON
Leaving the past behind is hard enough, and you don't want part of your
past still programmed in your cell phone. Although it's easier for the
dumper, recovering from a breakup is still a hard thing to do since it
means being single again, getting back into the dating scene, and no
longer making that daily goodnight call you and your ex used to share.
But having that person still lingering in your life as a constant reminder
makes it even harder to move on with your life, meet new people and
turn a fresh page. It's almost like keeping one foot in the past, and
another
struggling to make it back into the pickup scene. It also might be a
better idea to leave things with pleasant memories of the other person,
rather than drag the potentially doomed relationship through the mud.
In a perfect world, the ideal would be for exes to succeed at being friends
but in one where bitterness, jealousy, passion, and human nature exceed
reasoning and rational thought, it's impossible. So unless the two of you
were the best of friends before; both broke up on the same terms in a
perfectly mutual breakup; both have no qualms about either of you
seeing new people, and have both instilled a total honesty policy, better to

leave the friendship behind...along with the memories

for my own opinion , NO WAY.............

papa_cologne wrote:

winona wrote:for my own opinion , NO WAY.............

can you state it why??

THERE'S NO REASON THAT WE COULD BE FRIENDS

you can only say that you'd really moved if you can accept of being friend with your ex-partner even if you always say "THE FEELING IS GONE"

LIKE I'VE SAID IT ALL DEPENDS ON WHY OR HOW YOU BROKE UP IN THE FIRST PLACE.

The facts are there. You can't really be "friends" with your ex. It's only self deceiving when you do so.

"talk be so close, you have n0thing to confuse if you have many memories,cheerish of smile,anywy you have n0thing to worry if found better than before...and saying its over we're just friend,he,he,he..

it depends on what the cause of broke up

Broke up means "EX".but it doesn't exactly mean that u have to end yur communication.you can be friends as well.

well, for me i dnt want 2 be my friends my ex.why?because if u do that you will just act or pretends that your gonna be okay especially if u saw ur ex sweet to their new partner.but the truth is not your sad. deep inside you hate them and said how i wish he/she was mine.they said"FRIENDS CAN BE LOVERS,BUT LOVERS CANNOT BE FRIEND."

it depends if you still have feelings for her/him...

I'm friends with most of them now...

Time heals all wounds... But of course, the scars will always be there... Not a bad thing though... They're there to remind you not to make the same mistake...

All's fair in love and war... Hard to believe but it's true...

But an EX must stay that way... An EX for all eternity...

God bless...

Salam...

YEAH.... still they will be my frenz .....

Yeah... m0st of my ex are still my friends!! As u said guys this would depend on the reas0n of breaking up!!

il say yes as long as long as my feelings for her is really over. its n0t good that youre pretending to be just her friend when deep inside you are still hoping that she'll take you back. you'll only hurt yourself when she m0ves on and have a new lover in her life. you'll hurt inside for sure c0z when the time c0mes that she has problems in her relationship she will c0nfide to y0u c0z you are her friend. and it will cloud your judgement in giving advices c0z u still love heR

lovelychel wrote:well, for me i dnt want 2 be my friends my ex.why?because if u do that you will just act or pretends that your gonna be okay especially if u saw ur ex sweet to their new partner.but the truth is not your sad. deep inside you hate them and said how i wish he/she was mine.they said"FRIENDS CAN BE LOVERS,BUT LOVERS CANNOT BE FRIEND."

"FRIENDS CAN BE LOVERS,BUT LOVERS CANNOT BE FRIEND." ? you mean to say EX-LOVERS CANNOT BE FRIENDS?...
anyway, me and my ex are still friends, but i think we're much careful now with the way we treat each other, because we don't want others to think that there's something new going between us or we're trying to light the flame that's dead years ago. we frequently chat and talk what ever the topic, i even crack a joke that might be considered as "flirting" but i know she just don't mind it and took it just a plain joke. i feel happy, because despite of our sad break up, we're still friends, we can hang out together with other peers, just the two of us? i don't think she'll consider that, not because she don't want to be with me, i guess.hahaha...but just to draw a line between friends and lovers or ex-lovers.

you and your ex can still be friends if you want too. you just have to accept the facts that your relationship is over and what you have now is just for FRIENDS. if you still feel the bitterness, that's a clear sign that you're not yet recovered/moved on (whatever) and it will be very difficult for you. remove all the hatred and forgive. it could help you a lot. look at the brighter side. having friends is better than having enemies. you can face the world with a smile in your face, and you could convince yourself that you're HAPPY now.